The End to My Voting Innocence — How 2020’s Election Removed My Naiveté

Draw The Voting Booth Curtain

When I was a kid, I remember going with my Mom when she voted — we’d go inside a booth and face a big machine with levers. She’d grab the metal arm and pull the curtain closed so we’d be in there with the machine, alone. The machine looked scary but she was so casual about it that I quickly got over my fear.

Fast forward to when I was of voting age. I remember going to vote. I remember going to the desk to announce my name and watch an older woman thumb through pages, looking for my name. Once she found it, she asked me to sign on the row that showed my name. Someone else would point me to a voting booth and I’d vote.

Yes, I’m From Florida — But My Chads Detached

I remember the little metal tool that pushed the ballot’s chads next to the candidates’ names I chose. I remember taking my ballot to the metal box next to a volunteer who instructed me to push my ballot through the top of the box. Then the volunteer pressed an I Voted sticker on my chest.

I remember my absolute excitement waiting on an early-voting line in 2008. My late husband and I joined other voters as we threaded the line inside of an art gallery in Fort Lauderdale. There was such a buzz — people were excitedly chatting with one another. Many people were saying how this was monumental and we’d always remember this day. We were extra-excited to vote in this election because it blew the doors off of history.

Bueller, Bueller

After that, we started voting by mail via absentee voting. A main reason was that our polling place kept getting changed and the last few places lacked parking. We were over it but didn’t want to miss an election. It was easy to register for early voting ballots online and it helped ensure that we never missed voting in an election.

Researching In Our PJs

We had a routine regarding voting by mail. We’d research the candidates and the amendments. We were more thorough than when we took quickly written notes with us to the voting site. My current husband and I do the same thing — we vote by mail and do a deep dive into the issues and candidates as soon as we get our ballots in the mail. Our voting decisions are based on a lot of research! We love the process and participate in every election.

This year we voted by mail. We got the absentee ballots in September. We visited the Supervisor of Election website to track our ballots and saw that they were received. I volunteered to mail more than a thousand postcards — on my dime — to encourage others to vote. I still embrace the process of voting and letting our voices be heard.

Please — Make It Stop

But this year, truly, I cannot wait until it’s over. In years past, I felt this way because the phone calls, snail mail and commercials were just out of control. But this year, it’s the venomous politics of it all. The lies. The anger. The guns. The fights. The rhetoric. The attacks. Oh my G-d make it stop. Yes, there’s one candidate I favor over the other. But it’s not about that. It’s about the shine rubbed off of the process. It’s about taking something I held dear and totally trashing it. I’ll continue to vote. But I’ve lost my love of the process. I am no longer an innocent, who believes a candidate can erase the hatred and ill-will people have towards one another. I thought we all came together for love of country. I was so naïve.