Dimensions
We think we live in one dimension — this dimension.
I haven’t always thought that way. I used to think — ok, I still think — that when I had a pain in my body, my body was being hurt in another dimension. I’d say that somewhere someone is skewering my ankle. I feel it now even though no one is touching my body.
I think this is more than having a great imagination. I believe that we live in various dimensions simultaneously.
In 9 days it’ll be my late husband’s birthday. And 12 days ago was the five year anniversary of his death. So, my mind has been drifting to so many memories of our time together.
But I’ve also been living in this moment, in this life, that I share with my current husband. We make memories every day, so we are creating a bounty of memories of our time together.
I am living in more than one dimension. And I think everyone does. There is a part of us that remembers grade school and how we felt as young children. We remember specific feelings about dressing up in a costume, being in the classroom, or opening holiday gifts. But its more than memories.
When we recall events from many years ago, we relate to how we felt and what we thought — as if it just happened. We live in that dimension even though we also live in our current dimension.
I only wish it didn’t hurt so much to look back or to touch that dimension of when I was his wife. As I breathe in those memories, I feel the pain of loss that attaches to them. I believe that time mellows the pain of loss and increases the joy of living in that dimension.
I love my life right now. I love the dimension where I currently reside. I am in a good marriage with a lovely, beautiful, thoughtful, considerate, funny, smart man. I genuinely want for nothing. This is the easiest relationship I’ve ever had. I enjoy every day that we’re together. What’s even more beautiful is that he feels the same way. We are so grateful that we love our time together.
He also lost his partner, after being with his wife for his entire adult life. He too lives in more than one dimension because the span of decades that they shared is a dimension all its own.
Maybe one day we’ll find out that indeed, when we feel physical or emotional pain, it’s because its related to the experience in another dimension. Maybe on a sub-conscious level we already know it. For all I know, I am a gladiator who is taking blows that I marginally feel in this dimension.
